Q and A / Teenagers

R from LaVergne, Tennessee asks...

Friend or Foe

Dear Junebug: My daughter has a friend with whom she has been friends for several years. The friend has recently been having trouble with telling the truth about a lot of things. She has used prayer requests to start rumors, etc. Now, this friend has expressed to a mutual friend of hers and my daughter that my daughter is someone "who lies a lot." The comment got back to my daughter and she is hurting. I'm not sure what to do. The friend is going through a lot of family issues, so that may be the reason for this extreme behavior, but I'm not sure. Face to face with my daughter she doesn't express comments like that. I'm not sure she would be completely honest if confronted. What to do?

Posted in Teenagers on Tue, Apr 3rd 2012

Confront to be Sure

Dear R.:

This sounds like a similar situation that my daughter had to confront when in middle school. So, the first step that I'd suggest your daughter take is to mention to her friend, in a non confrontational way, that others have been telling her that she, your daughter's friend, has been slandering and spreading lies about her. Ask the friend to be completely honest, reassuring her that she will be forgiven, but the truth needs to come out.  

If however, the friend denies it all and your daughter believes her sources, then I'd suggest she find another friend. My daughter's experience with her so called friend didn't work in terms of restoration. She actually had to back away from the one hurling insults and seek out a different group of girls, those who didn't have any interest in gossiping. Now, my daughter has an extremely close group of girlfriends that avoid gossip/slander at all costs.

Encourage your daughter to work it out, but if her friend is the type with a propensity to lie, then help steer her away from this girl. Quickly!

 May God's blessings and wisdom be with you and your daughter in this situation!